Thursday 19 September 2013

Peacefulness

This week has come to the end so quickly.  It's amazing how the days fly by sometimes!

There has been no change in the situation here in limbo-land.  But I am feeling much more peaceful with things. 

It's been three weeks now and I am starting to get good thoughts emerging in my brain.  I'm starting to want to get back to the pool and to walk again.  I'm starting to move back to the 'busyness' that I love so much.  I had a great day baking today, amongst other things, with a new technique on the way to being mastered!!  The exercise hasn't started again yet, but just wanting to do it, is a big step forward.

More importantly is the sense I have of being content in whichever path we take.  If we choose to continue with fertility treatments, I will enter it with willingness and patience.  To be honest though, I feel a much stronger sense of peace when I think of living childfree.  Yes, there is a lot to deal with and there will be stabs in the heart from trigger situations for the rest of our lives, but I find myself breathing a sigh of relief at the thought of stopping fertility treatments, the endless waiting and the fruitless hopes and dreams of wanting to be a mother.

We are both seeing the fertility counselor and there is a lot to work through both individually and together.  There is a big road ahead whatever path we take.  I know there will big continual ups and downs.

I am just grateful, that for the time being, I am feeling at peace.

Love and Light
xx

4 comments:

  1. I'm SO SO SO happy for you, that you're at peace. Hey, I'd love to see your baking pics (I love food hi hi...). HUGS!!!

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    1. Hi Amel! I should put up baking photos. I'm just learning. But my new love of baking came as a direct result of our last miscarriage. A positive sign that good things can come out of difficult situations. At that time I kept saying, "Unfortunately, I'm baking now", meaning that I love that I'm enjoying learning to bake, I don't love the circumstances that brought it about.
      xxx

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  2. I am happy that you are feeling at peace!
    Wishing you a beautiful weekend.

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