So, Fathers Day has passed and it was a good day. I'm not completely sure how Dave felt about Happy Husbands Day, but I think we have our new tradition. Thank you Jen.
Upon receiving his card, I got one of those "I'm not going to let you go" hugs. I also think it may have upset him - brought to his attention that he's not a Dad. But I didn't push him on the subject. I just wanted to let it be what it was. Me showing him how much I loved him and wanting to celebrate how much I treasure having him as my husband. The presents were great fun though!! I love giving him gifts!
We had a full day with gardening and a bushwalk with friends. Then in the evening, my family all came around to celebrate with my Father. My nieces and nephews are all older now - 16 and above, so it doesn't pull at the heartstrings as much as it would if they were toddlers. I can relate to them as adults and hear about what they are up to in their lives. Yet, it is hard to see the strong family unit that my brother has and not be a part of it. To know that we won't have that in our lives.
One of my nieces wasn't able to be there. And she is the one with a toddler herself now. I love my great nephew to bits and have enjoyed babysitting him on a regular basis. At the moment, though, I am finding it difficult to be near him. I know this will pass, and I will endeavour to get there soon, because I love being with both of them. But right now, even seeing her Facebook status updates about him distress me.
This is such a difficult phase to go through. It is helpful reading other women's blogs who have been through this and have been able to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Seeing their strength and their lives moving on in leaps and bounds is heartwarming. It is not something we will ever be "healed" from, but it is good to see the joy in these womens lives.
A few new blogs that I have found are:
Childless by Marriage
The Next 15000 Days
Words Fly Up
If you haven't already done so, go and visit these amazing women!