Wednesday, 25 September 2013

The positives of being childfree

One of the biggest issues keeping me feeling good about being on the childfree path is all the positives associated with not having children.  While occasionally we can get a metaphoric stab in the heart from the circumstances surrounding us, more often than not, I am being reminded of the blessings of not having children.

For me, it began with being able to return to my normal habits and many of the simple pleasures that I enjoy. 
  • While trying to get pregnant, there was no alcohol in the last two weeks of my cycle and limited alcohol for the rest of the time.  As a wine lover, with my husband in the wine industry sometimes bringing home top quality wines that his customers have given him, this has been particularly cruel!!
  • There was abstaining from soft cheeses, cold meats and worst of all, my herbal teas!  
  • I've never been a tea or coffee drinker but I love drinking herbal teas.  And when we bought our fantastic teapot it was even worse not to be able to use it when there was a chance that I was pregnant.
  • And I am looking forward, with great anticipation and excitement, to buying my next shampoo, where I will not just buy the organic base but add all my gorgeous essential oils!  I had eliminated essential oils from topical and internal use just in case it caused any problems.  (Same as with herbal teas).  I love my oils in the shampoo and conditioner!!  I can't wait for the aromas to assail me and the benefits to my hair be seen once more!
  • I'm loving having no restrictions placed on my activities.  I can be as active as I want - climbing the hills and letting my body temperature get high, pulling weeds and activating, to the full extent, all my core muscles, moving furniture and picking up heavy items.
  • Spas!
  • There is that one negative though, of having to go to back to cleaning up the cat poo!!!!  :)  DH has been doing it for the last 4 and a half years!!  :)

There have been many times over the last few weeks when I have said "We couldn't do that if we had children" or "Thank goodness we don't have to deal with that!" or on some evenings "Gosh, I'm so tired tonight.  Imagine if we had kids to look after as well"
  • Peacefulness.  Today at the pool, I was changing into my bathers and two mothers were showering with their children.  Arguments, tears, flashes of anger at children not following instructions and the resulting consequences of injuring themselves.  I was so enjoying not having to deal with all of that.
  • Sanity.  No endless reruns of the Wiggles!  - and other such child entertainment!!!  :) :)
  • Less worry.  There are so many worries with being responsible for taking care of those little bundles and still so many (or more!) when they are big bundles.
  • Mobility.  Running errands.  I love being able to slip down to the shops to pick up some groceries or buy an outfit.  No stress, no major preparation of toys and diaper bags etc etc, none of the other issues that need to be dealt with when children are involved.  A quick decision, lock the house and I'm gone.  No screaming kids, no can I have this, can I have that, no running off, no taking an hour to do what can be done in 10 minutes!!
  • Holidays.  Relaxed cruising, weekends away, peaceful nature, just the two of us.
  • Home improvement.  Being able to put a water feature in the backyard.  We have been avoiding this one because we didn't want to have one if there was a possibility of children falling in.  We can do that now!
  • Time to relax.  Coming home from a big day at work and sitting down and relaxing for a while.  Aaahhh...
    One of my friends, a school teacher, is currently going mad with her boys fighting from the moment she drives them home.  She just wants some quiet and some down time to recover from the day before starting on the cooking, and the homework etc. etc.  Just 10 minutes to herself would be lovely, she says.
    I so treasure the time I have to myself and the time that we are able to spend together whether it be just chilling out, having fun, going bushwalking or activities such as building raised garden beds and fencing.
  • Time.  For so many things.  For self-improvement, time to work on relationships, to clean the house, to just dilly dally!
  • Freedom.  The freedom to pursue all sorts of hobbies and interests and dreams.  Baking whenever I want, gardening, blogging, researching.
  • Finances.  Greater financial freedom!
  • Flexibility.  The ability to make decisions on a whim, to change your plans and timetable, to work non-standard hours
  • Sleeping in.  No more needs to be said!!
I know I could probably write an equally long list of the joys of children.  Except that you can't have the joys of children, without also having the above difficulties!

The thought of the life of freedom that we may have ahead of us is peaceful and exciting and a really good reason for taking the path of being childfree.


  1. LOVE this focus-on-the-things-we-have-than-the-things-we-don't-have list. It makes me smile!!!!! :-D

  2. Love your list! I am so glad to see you are thinking about all the positives there are being childfree. The more you focus on the positives, it does get easier to accept your new life. Nothing is ever 100% perfect being in either situation, but it helps to see and discover all the wonderful things that can be.

  3. Thanks guys! When I have thought about this list since, I am finding it encouraging me to walk towards those things. To become even more passionate about the things I love and to be more joyous about the freedom in my life!

  4. So glad you're finding the positives. It took me some time to stop feeling guilty about enjoying the positives. I am glad you are embracing them. And there are many!